Hidden Truths
by MessyLittleRaindrop
Summary: Olivia has a secret from long ago that could destroy her and Cassidy's relationship. Cassidy has a secret now that could destroy whatever happiness he has period. When Cassidy's secret takes an even deeper hold on him to the point Olivia may end up killed because of it, will he be strong enough to conquer his demons? Or will his love ending up paying the ultimate price? Bensidy


We own no one but our own people. Proudly Co-Written with Bellatrix Wannbe 89.

Cassidy finished adding the last few things from his locker into the brown box in his arms. There wasn't a lot to be honest. A few photos, some mementos, hair products that the rest of the squad had made fun of for having… Just tiny things to make it seem more like home.

Just as he shut the locker, he heard her voice speak. "Cassidy?"

Cassidy leaned his head against the thin metal locker for a moment before he turned towards her. He offered a weak smile. "Hey, Liv."

Olivia's eyes were glued to the box he held under his arm. "You're leaving?"

He swallowed hard as he nodded. "Yeah. It's just… I can't do it. It's too much."

Neither Olivia nor Cassidy knew what his words truly meant. Rather he meant sex crimes as a whole or being around her after all that had happened… either way, he knew he was goin to go insane if he stayed much longer.

Olivia looked hurt. She stepped forward and rested a hand on his muscular arm. "Cassidy, don't… don't do this because of me," she pleaded softly. "Because of what happened. It wasn't either of our faults. We can't control these kinds of things."

"I know that, Liv. And this isn't about you or what happened between us. It's… I know it's not fair I just can't be around you knowing I'd be reminded of… of what happened every day. Of knowing what could have been, what could have become of us…" Brian glanced down at Olivia's flat stomach and ran a hand lightly across it. "I just can't do that to myself." Tears shined in Cassidy's eyes for a moment but they were gone as soon as they had appeared. He offered her a soft smile before he leaned forward and kissed her lips, surprised when he felt her kissing him back. He pulled away before it could go any further and he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Stay," Olivia pleaded, her voice breaking at the one simple word. "Please?"

"I can't."

Olivia took a shuddering breath as she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered as tears shone in her eyes.

Cassidy shook his head as he embraced her. "It wasn't your fault," he told her, meaning every word.

Olivia just shook her head as she tightened his grasp on him. He would never know but it was her fault. She wouldn't do that to him. She couldn't have him hate her for her choice.

The two embraced for a moment longer before he pulled away. He stroked her cheek and she leaned into his embrace. "You'll always have my heart," he told her, savoring his last few moments with her.

Forcing himself to turn away from her, Cassidy headed out into the cold New York night, his heart aching with regret…

xXxXx

Sitting alone in his darkened apartment, Brian Cassidy was a shadow of his former self. Until three years ago he would never have dreamed of touching anything stronger than Tylenol and even taking that took some persuading. This was different. It had taken control of him, gotten under his skin.

He began to ransack the apartment looking for this magic substance that he had become dependent on, on his third cigarette in the past hour.

"Where the hell is it?" Cassidy grumbled as he ripped through his sock drawer. He had his first official date with Olivia in three hours and he knew he couldn't show up in the state he was in now. He HAD to get it in his system. He'd go crazy if he didn't.

Searching high and low, it soon became abundantly clear to him that he no longer had any in his possession. Putting on his coat he headed to the place he knew it would be.

It took him less then forty five minutes to arrive in front of Ganzels loft. This wasn't the loft that he ran his pimping business out of, that he had taxes on and everything else legal. This was the loft only a very small group of people knew existed. Certainly no one with a legitimate badge…

Using the key he still had on him, Cassidy walked in the familiar estate and immediately began looking high and low for what he craved. He first hit the usual spots, places where even if it got ransacked the cops wouldn't be able to find but he found not a single hide or hair of it.

"Come on!" Cassidy roared as he searched the fourth familiar hiding spot, a cold sweat breaking out on his brow. He had to get some! He wouldn't even be able to function without it! Where the hell was it?

He then resorted to ripping up the floor boards, knowing that there was usually a large stash under the wood but that too was wiped clean as a slate.

Panic began to set in. What would he do if he couldn't find any here? There's no way in hell he'd buy from some street thug. Who knew what the hell kind of stuff they added to it?

Cassidy stormed into Ganzel's bedroom and began ripping through his dresser, making an absolute mess of the lavish room. When he had emptied every last drawer Cassidy sprinted over towards the bedside dresser and dumped the small drawer out onto the bed and shifted through its contents. Empty. Just as he was about to throw it against the wall, something particular caught his eye.

The bottom of the drawer had two separate colors. One shade of brown was just a hair darker then a sliver of lighter wood at the top.

Cassidy grabbed the darker wood and pulled, the exceptionally thin wood slice coming off as easily as if it was scissors cutting paper. Cassidy let out a loud triumphant cry as he grasped the small baggie and clutched it close to his heart. It wasn't a lot. Hardly a gram but it would be enough to get him through his date with Olivia. It'd be just enough for him to act sane around her.

He carefully opened the bad and poured out the snow white contents on top of the overturned drawer. Getting out his debit card and a twenty dollar bill, he began to assemble the powder, some of the purest and the highest grade of Cocaine Ganzel had been able to find, into a fine line.

Cassidy rolled up the bill and without wasting a moment longer; he inhaled the line with a large sigh of relief afterwards. He immediately got out his smokes and lit one up, wiping his nose as he did so.

With a long drag on his cigarette to help counter the stimulant effects, Cassidy got up from the floor and headed out to meet up with the woman he loved.

Please Review and SO sorry abotu the chapter length. I promise the next one will be much longer.


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